If you’ve ever struggled to set boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder (BPD or NPD), you’re not alone. These relationships can be incredibly challenging, leaving you feeling stuck, frustrated, and emotionally drained. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, I share practical strategies, a few personal stories, and even a touch of humor to help you navigate these complexities with confidence.

I’m also thrilled to introduce something that’s been in the works for months: The Boundaries Roadmap, our new online course designed specifically for adult children facing these unique challenges. Packed with insightful videos and a detailed workbook, this course is your guide to building the skills and confidence you need to set and uphold healthy boundaries—even in the most difficult situations.

Setting Boundaries With Parents - The Boundaries Roadmap 

Setting boundaries with a toxic parent isn’t just about saying "no" or avoiding conflict—it’s about reclaiming your emotional space and learning how to prioritize your needs without guilt. That’s the heart of The Boundaries Roadmap.

The course is comprehensive, covering everything from understanding borderline and narcissistic personality disorders to recognizing common boundary-setting pitfalls and preparing for pushback. With step-by-step guidance, practical exercises, and actionable strategies, this roadmap equips you to navigate these emotionally charged relationships with clarity and confidence.

If you’ve been waiting for a resource that’s practical, relatable, and tailored to the unique struggles of dealing with a BPD or NPD parent, this is it. Even better- the course is now available to all members of the Confident Boundaries Online Community!

Why Therapy Sometimes Falls Short With Setting Boundaries With a BPD or NPD Parent

If you’ve ever felt disheartened by the lack of progress after years of therapy—either your own or your parent’s—you’re not alone. In this episode, I dive into why traditional therapy approaches often fail when it comes to personality disorders.

Many therapists lack the training or experience to recognize and effectively treat these complex conditions. Moreover, individuals with BPD or NPD may seek out therapists who validate their experiences without challenging their behaviors, creating a cycle of ineffective therapy that leaves family members feeling stuck.

To illustrate this dynamic, I share a personal story about my own mother. Despite her insistence that she was “fine” and didn’t need therapy, her behavior told a very different story. This ironic reality is one many of you will recognize: a parent who outwardly claims they’re improving but whose actions consistently prove otherwise. It’s a frustrating, disheartening cycle—but understanding it is the first step toward breaking free from its grip.

Navigating the Guilt and Pushback of Setting Boundaries With Parents

One of the hardest parts of setting boundaries is dealing with the guilt that often comes with it. Toxic parents are experts at using guilt and manipulation to maintain control, making it difficult to stand firm in your decisions.

In this episode, I share tips for reframing guilt as a natural part of the boundary-setting process—not a sign that you’re doing something wrong. By understanding the dynamics at play and staying anchored in your values, you can navigate the pushback with confidence and calm.

A Light-Hearted Moment: Humor as a Coping Tool

Let’s face it: dealing with toxic family dynamics can be heavy. That’s why I like to mix in a bit of humor to lighten the mood. In this episode, I share some small but relatable ways to remind ourselves not to take everything too seriously. Humor isn’t just a distraction; it’s a powerful tool for coping with stress and emotional pain, helping you keep perspective even in tough times.

Take the First Step Toward Freedom

This episode of You’re Not Crazy is about more than just managing difficult relationships with difficult parents. It’s about empowering you to reclaim your emotional well-being and create a life where your boundaries are respected. With resources like The Boundaries Roadmap, candid conversations about the limitations of traditional therapy, and a community of support, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.

Tune in, explore the tools and strategies shared in this episode, and take the first step toward a more balanced and fulfilling life. You deserve relationships that honor your needs and a future that prioritizes your peace. Let’s get started—together.