It's wild to me how we put the responsibility of parent-child relationships on the child, not the parent...
I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family (quite possibly the understatement of the year). I'm also a therapist and coach with over a decade of experience in the mental health field. Something that has bothered me and confused me beyond belief is how quickly we are to minimize the impact of toxic parenting on children.
We are so quick as a society to excuse emotionally abusive behaviors from parents. Behaviors that have major consequences from childhood through adulthood. This leaves so many adults who grew up in this type of dysfunctional family dynamic feeling helpless, alone, and doubting their own reality.
I'm determined to be a part of changing this toxic narrative.
If you would have told me a few years ago that I would be willingly and frequently discussing my own journey of growing up with a parent with narcissistic personality disorder- I would have told you you were out of your mind.
I've never loved being the center of attention. And, talking about something so taboo publicly is scary at times. People have really strong feelings about family relationships and can be quite intense about it. Talking about my perspective is quite possibly the most vulnerable thing I've ever done.
My Desire to help others realize they're not alone outweighed my fears of speaking out
As a therapist, I've spent a good portion of my 12 year long career working with clients with personality disorders, their family members, and their partners. And working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders has been the primary focus of my therapy practice for the past several years.
I know how hard it is to find support when you're in this type of crazy-making family dynamic. Even a lot of therapists don't get it. It's like growing up in a cult where you're trying to make sense of what you've experienced and undo the lifetime of brainwashing you've experienced.
Figuring out how to navigate and heal from this type of relationship can feel impossible. But it's not, and I've made it my mission to help as many people out there who are ready to break the toxic cycle in their own family as I can.
helping you understand the dysfunctional cycle you're in, identifying what your actual options are, learning healthier ways of coping, and finding the confidence and courage to make your own choices.
telling you what you have to do, looking at life through a black-and-white lens, believing no-contact is the only option, or trying to get your parent to change (a major waste of your time and energy).
In early 2024, I jumped in and started Confident Boundaries.
Confident Boundaries has evolved from a little company where I could offer virtual coaching services to an expanding company that produces my weekly podcast, You're Not Crazy, and hosts the Confident Boundaries Online Community.
Confident Boundaries has allowed me to work with so many incredible humans who are determined to break the cycle of dysfunction in their family. It's been a wild ride and one that's just getting started.
I'm so grateful to everyone who has become a part of this journey, and I'm so happy you're here.
JOIN Me In THE COMMUNITYI want you to know- you are not crazy. You are not the problem. People with emotionally healthy parents don't question their own sanity after they interact with their parents.
WE MAY
Get along pretty well
if...
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You appreciate direct and honest communication.
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Humor is also one of your coping mechanisms.
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You occasionally use profanity to emphasize a point.
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A peaceful life is your dream life.
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You're committed to being the cycle breaker in your family.
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You're not interested in a perfect life- just one where you're happy and have some control.
