Parenting Tools for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse & Dysfunction

Cycle breaking you've got this

Parenting Tools for Breaking the Cycle of Abuse & Dysfunction

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When you grow up with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder (BPD or NPD), you learn so much about what not to do as a parent. Many of us grew up vowing to break those cycles of emotional volatility or manipulation, striving instead to provide a nurturing, stable, and emotionally validating environment for our kids.

How to Break Cycles With Your Parenting

But here’s the tricky part: knowing what you don’t want to do doesn’t automatically tell you what you should do. That’s where a little help from tools and resources that support healthy emotional development in children can be really helpful.

As a mom and therapist who's had to do a lot of research and information seeking to try to figure this out, I’ve created a list of my favorite products that support kids in developing emotionally intelligence, self-awareness, and mindfulness skills. These are perfect for toddlers and young kids, and I love that they make the process of teaching emotional development fun and engaging. Plus, you can shop all these products directly from my Amazon Storefront! Let’s dive in.

Books to Help Kids Express Their Emotions

1. Baby’s Feelings: A First Book of Emotions

By Little Hippo Books
Purchase here

Introducing emotions through facial expressions is a foundational skill for babies and toddlers. Babies begin learning emotional cues by watching our faces—this is how their little brains start to wire for empathy and self-awareness! Baby’s Feelings is an adorable board book that pairs simple, colorful illustrations with basic emotions. It’s perfect for helping even the youngest kids start recognizing and naming feelings.

2. The Feelings Book

By Todd Parr
Purchase here

This one is a classic, and for good reason. Todd Parr has a way of normalizing emotions in a way that’s simple, colorful, and affirming for toddlers. It’s a great way to reinforce the message that all feelings—whether happy, sad, angry, or scared—are valid and okay. It’s one of those books that makes it easy for kids to open up about their own emotions because it shows them that everyone has big feelings sometimes.

Kid's Sensory Tools for Emotional Regulation

3. Kinetic Sand
Purchase here

If you haven’t introduced your kids to kinetic sand yet, let me tell you—it’s a game changer! Sensory play is an amazing way to help kids develop body awareness and mindfulness skills. The texture is incredibly soothing, and it allows kids to express their creativity while also calming their nervous system. I’ve seen kids of all ages (and let’s be honest, adults too) get completely mesmerized by it. Bonus: It’s a lot less messy than traditional sand or slime!

Yoga & Movement for Big Emotions in Kids

4. Little Yogi Deck: Simple Yoga Practices to Help Kids Move Through Big Emotions

By Crystal McCreary
Purchase here

Teaching mindfulness doesn’t have to be complicated. The Little Yogi Deck is full of simple yoga poses and practices designed for kids. Movement can be such a powerful tool for helping kids work through anger, sadness, or excitement. This deck is a wonderful way to introduce mindfulness and self-regulation techniques to your little ones in a way they’ll actually enjoy.

Books and Games for Specific Emotional Challenges in Kids

5. Roaring Mad Riley: An Anger Management Story for Kids

By Allison Szczecinski
Purchase here

Anger is a tricky emotion for kids—and sometimes for parents, too. Roaring Mad Riley is a relatable story that teaches kids it’s okay to feel angry, but also gives them practical tools to handle those big feelings in healthy ways. It’s a fantastic resource for kids who might be struggling with tantrums or outbursts.

6. Mad Dragon: An Anger Control Card Game

Purchase here

This card game is a fun, interactive way to teach anger management skills. It’s especially great for school-age kids, and I love that it gives them practical tools they can use in the moment when they feel anger bubbling up. Plus, games like this one are perfect for family bonding time while also teaching important life skills.

Plushies with a Purpose: Slumberkins

7. Slumberkins Unicorn Kin & Bigfoot Kin Sets

Purchase here

If you haven’t discovered Slumberkins yet, you’re in for a treat. These plushies aren’t just cuddly—they’re paired with storybooks that teach emotional intelligence and social skills. The Unicorn Kin focuses on authenticity and confidence, while the Bigfoot Kin promotes self-esteem and positive relationships. I love how they combine comfort objects with meaningful lessons, making them a perfect tool for helping kids navigate friendships, self-doubt, and more.

Why These Tools Matter for Emotional Regulation in Kids

When it comes to parenting, I often think about how much of the lack of emotional support we received in our own childhoods gets carried into our parenting styles without even realizing it. For those of us who grew up in environments where emotions were invalidated, ignored, and shamed, it can feel overwhelming to figure out how to rewrite those scripts for our own kids.

The good news is, you don’t have to do it alone. Tools like these books, games, and sensory objects can give you a head start, helping you create an emotionally validating environment where your kids feel safe to express themselves.

Remember, none of us are perfect parents. It’s about consistently showing up, demonstrating unconditional love and support, modeling emotional regulation, and providing your kids with the resources and support they need to thrive.

If you’re ready to build a toolbox of resources for your kids, you can find all the products I mentioned here on my Amazon Storefront. Here's to raising the next generation to be emotionally intelligent, compassionate, and resilient—starting today!

Visit my Amazon Storefront to shop these resources!

 
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Torie Wiksell

Therapist and coach Torie Wiksell created Confident Boundaries to support the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders with setting boundaries and feeling less alone in their healing journey. Through her honest and unfiltered perspective, Torie shares valuable insights in her work, her podcast You're Not Crazy, and the Confident Boundaries Online Community.