It’s Me, Hi, I’m The Problem, It’s Me. (You’re Not Crazy: Podcast Episode 5)

Growing up with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder can have profound and lasting impacts on one's mental health. This episode of "You're Not Crazy" delves deep into how these personality disorders shape your self-perception and emotional well-being.

I share a bit about my personal journey with questioning whether or not I had borderline personality disorder myself. Through this episode, we unravel the complexities of BPD and narcissism, highlighting their differences and the common emotional scars parents with both leave on their children.

Am I Actually The Problem?

One of the core issues explored in this episode is the confusion and fear that often accompanies the realization that your parents' behavior may have deeply affected you. For years, I was convinced that I had BPD. I’ve since learned this is quite a common experience for many who grew up with parents exhibiting these personality disorders.

We take a closer look at the differences between BPD and narcissism. BPD is characterized by intense emotional experiences and can be managed effectively with dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). In contrast, narcissistic personality disorder involves a lack of empathy and an inflated sense of self-importance, making it more resistant to treatment and those with the disorder less interested in seeking support.

Despite these differences, the emotional trauma inflicted on children by parents with either disorder can be remarkably similar. Emotional invalidation, a common experience in such households, can lead to difficulties in trusting one's own emotions and intuition.

Emotions Are Scary When You Grow Up With A Parent With Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Developing emotional regulation skills becomes a crucial tool for those recovering from a childhood of emotional invalidation. Emotional regulation involves learning how to manage and respond to intense emotions in a healthy way. For many, emotions can feel overwhelming and scary, especially when they were not validated during childhood. It's essential to create a safe space for these emotions, allowing yourself to experience and process them without judgment.

Trusting your own emotions and intuition is another significant challenge. Growing up in an environment where your feelings were often dismissed or invalidated can lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence in your emotional responses. Rebuilding this trust requires patience and self-compassion. It's about acknowledging that your emotions are valid and that you have the right to feel and express them. This process is supported by seeking therapy, engaging in self-reflection, and surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding individuals.

Healing From Childhood Trauma

In this episode, I also offer practical insights on how to navigate the journey of healing from childhood trauma. This includes the importance of therapy and coaching, which can provide the necessary tools and support to break free from the patterns of emotional invalidation. I encourage listeners to explore my therapy and coaching websites at toriewikselltherapy.com and confidentboundaries.com for additional resources and support.

Another key aspect discussed is the concept of being a "cycle breaker." This term refers to individuals who consciously choose to break the cycle of trauma and abuse in their families. Being a cycle breaker involves a commitment to self-awareness, personal growth, and the willingness to address and heal from past wounds. It's a challenging but empowering path that requires courage and resilience.

The episode also touches on the importance of community and support systems. Having a network of people who understand and validate your experiences can make a significant difference in your healing journey. This might include friends, mentors, a therapist, a coach, support groups, or online communities. The shared understanding and empathy within these groups can provide comfort and encouragement as you navigate the complexities of healing from parental trauma.

Finally, we explore the significance of self-compassion and self-care in the healing process. It's crucial to be gentle with yourself and recognize that healing is a journey, not a destination. There will be setbacks and challenges, but each step forward is a testament to your strength and resilience. Practicing self-care, whether through mindfulness, journaling, or engaging in activities that bring you joy, can help nurture your emotional well-being.

In summary, this episode of "You're Not Crazy" offers a comprehensive exploration of how parental personality disorders can impact your mental health. By sharing my personal experiences and providing practical insights, I aim to empower listeners to take control of their emotional well-being and break free from the cycle of trauma. Healing is possible with the right support and resources, and it's a journey worth embarking on for the sake of your mental health and future happiness.

For more updates and personal tips on navigating your mental wellness journey, follow me on Instagram and TikTok. Thank you for allowing me to be a small part of your journey to self-understanding and healthier boundaries!