Do you often find yourself caught in a cycle of making decisions that are almost entirely based on fears about how another person might respond to what you actually want to do or guilt about putting your own needs ahead of someone else’s desires? If so, you're not alone.

Many adults struggle with this dilemma which we often refer to as people pleasing. Especially, adults who were raised by emotionally immature parents aka toxic parents.

Growing up with emotionally immature parents can leave a lasting impact on our decision-making processes and overall well-being. Instead of prioritizing our own wants and needs, we may find ourselves constantly worrying about how our actions will be perceived by others or feeling guilty for asserting ourselves.

But, why does this happen when you have toxic parents?

Emotionally immature parents lack the necessary skills to fulfill their own needs in healthy ways, and they often have unrealistic expectations of their adult children.

Rather than fostering independence and growth, they rely on manipulation and coercion to keep their children dependent on them or constantly available as a confidant and problem-solver.

The result for adults with emotionally immature parents?

A pervasive sense of stress and overwhelm that stems from prioritizing others' needs over our own. It's like carrying an invisible burden on our shoulders, constantly second-guessing ourselves and hesitating to make choices that align with our true desires.

Breaking free from this cycle requires a deep understanding of the dynamics at play and a willingness to prioritize our own well-being over the wants and expectations of others.

Here are five steps to help you reclaim control of your life and make decisions that serve your best interests:

1. Recognize the patterns: Take a step back and reflect on your decision-making process. Are you consistently prioritizing others' opinions over your own? Do you feel guilty when you assert yourself? Identifying these patterns is the first step toward breaking free from them.

    

2. Set boundaries: Setting boundaries with a toxic parent is essential for your mental and emotional health. This may involve limiting contact with them or clearly communicating your needs and expectations. Remember, it's okay to prioritize yourself and your well-being.

    

3. Prioritize your own needs: Make taking care of yourself a priority in your life. Take time to nurture your physical, emotional, and mental health. Whether it's through hobbies or spending time with people who uplift and support you, prioritize activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

    

4. Seek support: Don't be afraid to reach out for support from people who are walking a similar path. Talking to someone who understands your experiences can provide needed validation and guidance as you navigate the challenges of breaking free from your current dynamic with your emotionally immature parents.

    

5. Work on building trust with yourself: Trusting your instincts and intuition when making decisions will happen over time. Trust happens as you consistently make decisions that are aligned with your own needs and values.

   Remember that you are both capable and worthy of prioritizing your own needs and desires. Trusting yourself is key to breaking free from the toxic cycle of fear and guilt.

Breaking free from the toxicity of emotionally immature parenting is a journey, but it's one that is well worth the effort.

By prioritizing your own well-being and learning to trust yourself, you can reclaim control of your life and create a future filled with authenticity, joy, and fulfillment.